August 12, 2008

Pity, Party of 1

As soon as I woke up, I knew today would not be the day I had hoped for. I didn't sleep well and had to get up somewhat early for a 9:50 doctor's appointment since it takes me 10 times longer to do really simple things. Everything hurt when I tried to get out of bed and walking down the stairs was a chore. Not only did the muscle aches and pains worsen, but all of my skin abrasions had started to burn like crazy. I was attempting to get dressed and get my hair into a ponytail and could not get my arm to cooperate with any of it. I finally had a little meltdown and was reduced to tears, not from the pain, but from feeling sorry for myself. I'm not proud of this and it's not how I want to be, but I'm human and I guess I'd finally reached my limit.

I pulled myself together and headed out to my orthopedist appointment. To add to the challenges, we discovered an insurance issue - essentially we weren't covered due to an HR error - so my husband left work to come with me in an effort to straighten it out. My appointment was brief and didn't have the outcome I was hoping for. The doctor is fairly certain I have a fracture of the greater tuberosity of the humerus even though it isn't showing up on x-rays. He referred me for an MRI and was hesitant to speculate about what my training future will look like. He also prescribed stronger pain medication and encouraged me to get on a solid schedule with it. The better I'm able to manage the pain, the faster I'll be able to recover. I'm having such a hard time moving at this point due to the pain so hopefully the new meds will help. Unfortunately, they also knock me out so my productivity is pretty much non-existent.

My little, private pity party continued throughout the day. Even though I'm most certainly thankful the outcome wasn't worse, I can't help but feel a little sorry for myself now that some time has passed. I have no idea when I'll be able to swim again and if I'll be able to do either of my late season races. I'm definitely missing a tri this weekend and a century next weekend. And at this point, I'm not sure the marathon will even be possible. The MRI will determine all of it, so of course I'm anxious to have that test.

I eased my sadness by eating some cookie dough (always a good idea), looking some more at the new bike I still want to buy and thinking about my longer term goals. This setback may have cut my first season short, but I have more than enough time to recover and come back strong for 2009. I'm still doing the two Ironman 70.3 races I planned and most definitely still doing Ironman Wisconsin. I'm hoping I got my inevitable crash out of the way and can now train injury free. That would be a silver lining for sure.

One thing that has made all of this so much easier is the support and comfort I've gotten from my family, friends and other triathletes. I've gotten numerous phone calls and emails checking in and wishing me well and some really positive comments here on the blog and in my training log on Beginner Triathlete. I can't thank you all enough, it has been a great source of encouragement.


  1. Sorry to hear about your crash! Ouch!

    I have gone down 2X this season and both times during those 3-4 days following the crash where I just couldn't move my body I thought that "this was it! my season is over! i am losing all of my fitness!" I actually came back more determined and stronger mentally than before.

    The fact that you are still looking forward to two half Irons AND an Ironman next season despite your body being wrecked, I'd say you are going to come back stronger than ever once recovered.

    Rest up and I hope you recover QUICKLY!

  2. Hey - I think you're a bit entitled to some pity.

    Wow. It just keeps sounding worse as you provide more details. It just takes time, which really sucks - mentally, physically, emotionally. But you'll get through it. And yeah, you got those other races to look forward to.

    Hope you feel better.

  3. Hmmmm...interesting. My name has changed from "Walt" to "IronWally". I was playing around with creating a blog myself.

  4. Kristin- So sorry to hear about your crash! You are so amazing for staying focused and even writing about it! Good luck with your recovery- if anyone can come back full force from something like this, it's you! Get well, and in the mean time let me know if there's anything I can do to help!



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