March 30, 2009

Freak Out

While I haven't felt particularly nervous about the race itself, I am incredibly nervous about simply getting there. Work is proving to be a major challenge this week so the meltdown officially began today. I sent a desperate, pathetic email to my coach begging for advice. On top of schedule challenges, which include a client dinner tomorrow night and a 7am start to the day Thursday, my shoulder pain has escalated to a frightening level. After being so careful for so long, how can this be happening? I have an overwhelming urge to cry and feel sorry for myself, but instead I'm trying to focus this nervous energy into a plan to deal with these challenges. I will:
  1. Do as much preliminary packing tonight as possible. I worked late so I'll order takeout and tackle the task.
  2. Try to chip away at this week's "to do before I go" list by finishing the easiest 1-2 items on there.
  3. Stretch my shoulder thoroughly and ice it, even if that means I have to go to bed with ice on it because there was no other time. Commit to stretching and icing it every day this week. It has to get better. It just has to.
  4. Try to sleep at least 6 hours tonight in preparation for my long day tomorrow. I'll be up early for training and then have a minimum 12-hour work day.
  5. Dedicate all of Wednesday night to finishing packing and the major to-dos. With a 7am start on Thursday I don't want to leave too much to Thursday night.
Even as I write this on my blackberry during my subway ride home, I realize I must sound panicked and frantic. But in many ways just writing this is the first step to channeling some of the negative energy into a more positive place. Thank god today is a rest day.


  1. Everything's going to work itself out, Kristin, don't worry. Just keep crossing tasks off your list. You'll be down at the start line in no time, and you're going to have a great race.

  2. Best of wishes to you, everything will work itself at the starting line!



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