The messages of support I've received over the last few days have been a lifeline. I have been on the verge of giving up and am brought back to reality every time I read one. I received a comment today on my training log that really struck me and I wanted to share it.
Kristin! Your training has been INCREDIBLE up to this point. I've been following your blog for inspiration to do a mere fraction of what you've been getting out to do everyday. While it will be on record as "DNF" we know you were prepared to go all the way and you will be doing one amazing Aquabike with an injury. DNF= Do Not Forget to take care of your body and Do Not Forget how much your preparation is bigger than race day and Do Not Forget how many people have been reading along in the hope that some little bit of your strength rubs of on them... me included!
This was left by an athlete I met while racing the Hyannis Half Marathon, but we've had little contact since. This was incredibly touching as I struggle with the decision to quit something I want more than anything I've ever wanted in my life. But I know it's the right thing to do.
I had a pretty amazing day on a day that could have been easily one of the worst. My friend Debbie, who has been a huge supporter on this journey, invited me out for drinks last night (which were SO needed) and offered to help me get my bike to the city for Tribike Transport. She came over at 10:30 a.m. and we were together for 12 hours, experiencing a range of emotions while trying to make this a "normal" day. We dropped my bike off and then had a fabulous lunch in the West Village before heading to the Upper West Side to pick up my boot. The boot was miraculous. It feels like I'm not stepping on the ground, which I know is dangerous since it makes me want to race.
We hit Bloomingdales for jeans shopping and I stocked up with three new pairs. It's funny how retail therapy can make you feel so good. We then had a drink in the neighborhood before moving onto dinner and more drinks. I didn't do a minute of training but I feel this time off has been valuable. I'd be going out of my mind otherwise.
I don't feel the least bit good about my acceptance and decision to DNF the race. I still hold a shred of hope things will change. How could I not? Somone shared this video with me today and I realized I've always been far more moved by the final finishers than those who finish easily. Is there any less value in crossing the line at midnight than 8 p.m.? Is it even possible? That is the question.